I was reading an article by Tsoknyi Rinpoche on How to Make Friends with our Beautiful Monsters. I had a feeling to share that experience. I found it aligned with what we offer at FRY when we talk about the relationship with need to have with the movement and the feelings that come from it.
Anger, fear, envy. You name it. Those are all feelings we experience in our life. Instead of fighting them make friends with them.
To better your life you might decide to read some self-help books written by well-known authors. Some of you had the fortune to talk to some mentors. And it seems you get it up in your head. It seems you have a clearer vision of your life experiences. Yet, you are still stuck in the same emotional and energetic habit patterns. That happens because there is no communication between mind, body, and feelings. Your understanding is not digested at the level of body and feeling. It is at the level of the intellectual mind. It is not deeply integrated.
We often feel ashamed of our emotional patterns that make our lives and relationships difficult. We resist and react to what we feel. We hate what we feel. We just want all our feelings to go away.
As suggested by Tsonknyi Rinpoche, we need to learn to look at them as “Beautiful Monsters”. If we think of them as just “Monsters”, we solidify our aversion toward them, which are really just parts of our own minds. If we think of them as just “Beautiful”, however, we are denying the destructive potential they have and the suffering they can cause.
It’s important to understand that they are both friends and enemies. It is like looking at your hand: it has two sides; it exists with two sides. You cannot consider the functionality of your hands by only considering one side. The bottom side of the hand exists because its top side exists.
Our “Beautiful Monsters” are like ice. Their nature is water. We don’t have to destroy the ice but melt it and free it and let it flow. Our “Beautiful Monsters” are like that. They are frozen patterns of reacting and resisting. To melt the ice and so our “friendly enemies”, we need to use the warmth of our kindness toward them, without any judgmental mind. Having a “handshake attitude” between our awareness and our feelings. Not running away from our feeling. Not fighting them. Just meeting them in full awareness.